Martian Sunrise
by DreamHeart
Summary: It’s time to come to terms. Something they both had been putting off. JadeiteRei.


**A/N:** I know you're wondering where I keep coming up with these ideas when I should be writing chapter 5 of Stone Ashes. But I have been working on it . . . it's about a third of the way done. This actually was supposed to be a sappy romance fic but it didn't work out that way. Sometimes those darn characters just don't want to listen . . . and you just have to follow where they take you. –shrugs- It was actually inspired by a song that's been sitting on my laptop for awhile. Lyrics are at the end. I'm a hopeless romantic.

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN Sailor Moon or any of its characters, BUT I DO OWN the story. Remember plagiarism is bad, and I will hunt you down.

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I awoke at daybreak, a new habit in this life. A product of all my years in darkness, I suppose, or maybe I'm just becoming too much like Kunzite. Sitting up in bed I run a hand through my short blonde locks and sigh.

She would be awake now. She always did like the peace and quiet that accompanied the dawn. I could find her in the gardens under a tree meditating, just like a lifetime ago.

Gazing out the window my mind wanders back to the first day I faced my love after the Great Freeze. The look on her face of horror, disgust, and anger haunts me. That familiar feeling of self-loathing envelops me once more. I'm not worthy to . . . . No, no more of that. That kind of thinking has kept me from her, made me avoid her. But I can't avoid her forever. We have much to discuss, not for my benefit but for hers.

I know she's changed. Her name is different for one but more importantly she's been hurt in this lifetime and in the last. Those iron clad defenses she had a millennia ago are even stronger now. But she's the same too. I can see it in her eyes and sense it in the depths of my soul.

I know she doesn't want to face it, to face me. She'd rather not deal with it, ignore it. To be honest, neither do I but I know that it will eat away at her as it festers in her soul. And in that respect, I've failed her, been a coward once again . . . something I swore never to do again. That's it I've made up my mind, today is the day whether she likes it or not.

With that I throw on a pair of brown pants and a white button down shirt and start making my way to the gardens. I know Endy would like us to start wearing our new uniform but it's just a little too close to our Golden Kingdom uniforms for my liking. I haven't deserved to put that uniform on in such a long time . . .

Stepping out into the gardens my eyes find her almost automatically. She's standing under a sakura tree just a few yards away. And I can't help but stare at her long and hard. She was the same gorgeous woman that I loved a millennia ago. She turns then sensing me. Her eyes still gleam when she's angry and that scowl never mars her beauty.

"What do you want?" she bellows.

It almost made me take a step back. Almost. I was used to her tirades, her temper tantrums . . . but this was different. She is more than mad. She is hurt and she is scared. Scared, she'd kill a thousand men before she ever admits a thing like that.

Stepping towards me she asks again, "What do you want?"

What did I want? A million things actually. I want her to forgive me. I want her to accept me. I want her to let me love her. I want to be loved in return and that's the short list. But somehow my voice refuses to answer her and I merely blink.

"What do you expect from me?"

Her voice cracks. Her mask is beginning to fail. Did that mean that her defenses were weakening? Never, not my Firebird. "Firebird." Somehow I manage to voice that last thought.

"NO!" Her hands fly to the sides of her head, her fingers burying themselves in her rich ebony locks. "I am not your 'Firebird!' Not in this life!"

This time she takes a step back – almost as if she is trying to run from me. No, that was something she would never do . . . not even that day. I take a step forward. A stupid thing really, I should have known that her emotions would have summoned her guardians. The same guardians that I had once been so close to and so grateful for – after all they could protect her in my absence. They transform before me now into two twin girls that bore an uncanny resemblance to my Firebird . . . uncanny that is except for their eyes.

"Get away from her," Deimos growls as she steps between me and my princess. She always was the more hot tempered one – more protective and territorial.

"No," I answer in a voice that seems too small to be my own.

"She has been hurt too many times in this life an in the last," Phobos begins. "We will not stand idly by and watch the past repeat itself. We shouldn't have been so trusting as we were. Old lessons die hard."

I open my mouth to speak but never got the chance. She intercedes on my behalf. "I'm fine. Phobos, Deimos, I appreciate the concern but this is something that I must deal with . . . by myself."

The twins turn to face her in utter disbelief but the look on her face left no room for arguments. Reluctantly they bowed to her and left us alone.

"You didn't answer my question," she says softly.

I caught the dangerous undertone and nervously run a hand through my short blonde hair. "You know what I want."

She nods and suddenly became interested in the floor. Then those burning violet orbs return to me. "And you seriously expect me to welcome you back with open arms? Like nothing ever happened?"

It was silly, I know, but a part of me actually hoped that that was what would happen. She'd forgive and forget our past, forget any relationship she had made in this life, and come running back into my arms. But there was another part of me that wanted nothing more than to leave her alone. Every time I look down at my hands I see her blood on them. I didn't deserve to kiss the ground she walked on, let alone be in her presence.

"Speak! Or have you forgotten how?"

"I don't know what I expected. I had hopes."

"Hopes. It can never be as it was, Jadeite."

I had a sudden urge to scream. She was ripping my heart to shred bit by bit ever so slowly. "No. I know that."

"So why are you here? What do you want?"

It was a simple enough question. I am half afraid of what her reaction would be. I used to know her better than anyone, better than she knew herself, and yet here I stand unsure of myself. "Do you still cry, Firebird?"

The question startles her. Her eyes always gave her away. Her mask never could reach her eyes. "Cry?"

"How long has it been?" I take a step towards her. "Do you still bottle it all in? Or did you discover your journal again?"

She didn't say a word . . . but her eyes flickered again. My confidence is growing. "Are you happy?"

Her eyes changed then. They hardened. She was getting defensive. "Yes."

"How long has it been since you did something crazy? Did something on the spur of the moment? Lived for the day?"

"I have my duties or have you forgotten that again?"

It was as if she had stabbed me. After a moment, I could breathe again. "No, I have not forgotten. I will never forget."

"Never. It's a funny word." She twirls a piece of her long inky locks around her finger. "It's like promises, oaths . . . and vows," she pauses emphasizing that last word. "They all can be broken."

Broken. I want to die. I deserved to die. I'd broken her. I could see it in her eyes. She'd been hurt one too many times . . . and it had all started with me. My throat is dry.

"Do you know what it's like to feel like your back is up against a wall?" she continued. "To think that your lover is coming to help you in your time of need? And then have him kill you? Not quick and merciful mind you as Venus' death might be thought of, but slow and painful. He baits you, wearing you down even though you are already growing weary from the battle. Then finally he plunges his sword into you abdomen and thrusts upward. Blood spills out of your mouth as tears threaten to spill form your eyes. He kisses you then and the tears fall – bloodstained tears. It should be over then but it isn't. He turns your own power against you literally making your blood boil."

I fall to my knees, my hands lie upturned limply on my thighs. The blood was as fresh as ever. I blanch. Even death is too good for me. I had betrayed her, betrayed my liege, betrayed my very soul.

"I never understood why." Her eyes are misty for a moment before they return to their serene even gaze. "But it doesn't matter. What's done is done. It cannot be changed. Perhaps we could have been happy . . . but it does not bode well to dwell in the past."

Glancing up my steel blue eyes plead with her. "But it defines who you are. Does it haunt you? Does it prevent you from moving forward?"

Those eyes flickered once more. I had hit a nerve. "I'm – "

"No!" Her anger is back. "It does no one any good to hear your apologies. It does not change what you did. It cannot wipe my blood from your hands any less than the reasons for your betrayal can."

"No it doesn't change a thing. But it might change how you feel about it. You bottle it all inside and pretend that it'll go away but it just festers. How long will you wait until you let someone into your heart again? How long will it be before you let someone steal your breath away again?"

"Don't presume to know me, sir. I am not the same. I am not who you want me to be."

"You will always be my 'Firebird.'" Climbing to my knees my heart cried out for her. "You are not so different as you would like to believe. You are still prideful, strong-willed, temperamental, passionate, vivacious, and caring. Ruled by the emotions you so desperately attempt to hide. Building up walls around your heart to prevent yourself from being hurt."

"And you? Are you the same?"

The question catches me off guard, though I probably should have expected it. "Yes and no. I am the same man that you fell in love with but I am not the same man that fell prey to Beryl's traps. The darkness that once preyed upon my fears, insecurities, and doubts no longer lingers in my heart. I kneel before you forever repentant asking for a second chance."

"A second chance," she repeats savoring each word.

"A second chance."

"For what?"

"To remind you what life is like. To steal your breathe away. To love you until don't feel lonely anymore. To make you feel like you belong. To make you cry . . . tears of joy. This time it'll last, as long as there's a breath in me, I'll give it my all. Tell me what to do. I'll do whatever it takes, whatever you want me to." Tears are streaming down my face but I don't care. The only thing that matters is my Firebird. "I still love you. I'm sorry but I do. I'll love you forever. Hate me, laugh in my face, I just want you to be happy. If it can be me, I'll be the happiest luckiest man in the universe. But if it can't, I don't want to be what stops you from experiencing love and all it has to offer again."

Those eyes, the eyes I love so much plead with me, begging me to take back every word I had just said. They are softer now, brimming with tears . . . but still angry and scared.

"Why? Why does it matter? After all this time?" she roars.

"Because I love you and I can't stand to see you unhappy. You deserve so much more . . . so much better than me. But I need you and I'd give anything to erase the pain I have caused you, to have been able to protect for the pain that you have experienced in this life. All I can offer you, though, is my love and the promise never to leave you again."

"It would be so much easier . . . if you could just tell me that you never loved me. Tell me that you never really loved me. It would be so much easier to hate you, so much easier to walk away. Just tell me that's why you turned. Promises and pretty words are meaningless!"

I'm on my feet now encircling her with my arms – both of us crying. "No! Never, never think that. I loved you with every fiber of my being. I turned because she threatened you. She threatened you, when we had such high hopes . . . that you were pregnant. I know that it turned out that we were wrong, but I couldn't take that chance, Rei. I would've done anything to ensure that you and our child were safe, anything . . . even if that meant selling my soul. And I did. What I didn't understand was that I could never protect you like that and she preyed upon my fears, insecurities, and doubts until everything was skewed . . . until you were the enemy."

She's beating her fist against my chest trying to get away but I won't let her. "It doesn't change the fact that I found out that I wasn't pregnant alone. It doesn't change the fact that my husband still believed I was pregnant when he attacked me . . . purposely going for my abdomen. Just let me hate you! I don't want to love you! But I do. I don't understand why and I don't understand why a part of me forgave you a long time ago. I want to hate you. It'd be so much easier . . . so much easier for me to understand."

My grip loosens and I bury my hands in her thick midnight hair. Leaning in so my forehead rested against hers I inhaled her scent, jasmine . . . she always smelled like jasmine, savored the feel of he skin against mine and the silkiness of her hair. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, I whisper, "Then hate me, Firebird. Just please be happy." Forcing myself to let her go I take one last look at her tear stained face and feel my willpower begin to falter. Just one moment longer and I wouldn't be able to walk away. A quick about-face is my salvation and I start to walk away. Just one in foot in front of the other . . . and breathe, that's the ticket.

I hear a sob let loose from her throat. I can picture her in my mind's eye – crumbled to the ground weeping, her hair fanning out around her. Every fiber of my body is urging me to run to her, scoop her into my arms and never let go . . . but that would never work, so I continue to force myself to walk away. She isn't ready. And I could never force her. She had to be ready. But at least she knew, knew that I loved her, knew that I would always love her. All I can do is wait until she realizes that I'm the one that she doesn't want to live without, the one she can't live without, and until then all I can do is breathe in and breathe out.

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**A/N** – There you have it. The song is **Cry **by Jeff Bates. The fic's alternate title would be 'Martian Twilight'. Why? You can see this piece as a new beginning for Rei and Jed or the end. It's up to you, but the title should tell you which one I prefer to think of it as . I hope you enjoyed it. R/R! -DH


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